Day 326: Christmas...It's a wrap

Day 315: Happy Holidays!

Day 310: Talking Baby

On a side note: Atom officially took his first two consecutive, while not completely falling on his face, steps this week. He vowed they wouldn't be his last.

Day 304: The Precious Art of the Tantrum

Atom is starting to show signs of Tantrums. It is the funniest thing to see mostly because he isn't very good at them and he doesn't seem to fully commit to them yet. He can easily get distracted mid-tantrum if something shiny, new, or within a 12 inch circumference catches his eye. In fact he has been known to launch into a fit (throw his head back, rocket his hands into the air, hit the rain machine) one moment and be laughing hysterically the next.

Where is he learning this behavior? Granted I can be grumpy at times, especially when I miss my programs, but I rarely ever show the flair for drama that he does. Tantrums must be deeply grained into our chemical makeup. That can be the only answer. A love for chocolate, an unhealthy dependency on Google Search, and tantrums appear to the Holy Trinity of our souls.

Right now the whole thing is very comical but once again I have flash backs to the pre-baby me where the site of a tantrum-ized kid at a mall drew very little sympathy from for the  parent. But that was the old me. The new me is wondering if we are ever going to be out at say a restaurant with Atom and if we are going to be those parents grasping at our last wits trying to convince that peas really DO taste good.

The new me also thinks if I see the old me (obviously in the form of some one else's "me") trying to avoid eye contact with me while Atom is doing the spaghetti man crying on the floor somewhere that I won't give them a second thought. I will be too busy trying to figure out how to convince Atom that big boys listen to their parents and all the while knowing this little secret...the joy of parenthood outshines any untimely public outbursts. And if he keeps this up he clearly has a date with a little gold statue at the Kodak Theatre down the road.

Day 295: Thanksgiving Monkey Business

Day 289: Clothes Schmothes

I have heard stories of and, on the rare occasion, seen the evidence of this strange aversion kids have to clothes. Even friends of ours have horror stories of their kids running around naked in public.

I just don't get it. The kid-less me of just over 9 months ago not only didn't get it but also probably thought there was something seriously wrong with any parents that couldn't keep their kid's clothes on. Have they no concept of public decency? Ah the kid-less me.

Atom isn't running around naked yet but he puts up an unbelievable fight when it comes to diaper/clothes changes. Such a fight that he is just seconds away from being too much even for both of us to wrangle him. It is scary. He twists and turns more than Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

I can only imagine this is just the beginning too. He doesn't quite have the capacity to undo our efforts yet but that time is not too far off. I imagine those sleepy eyed parents chasing after their own half dressed child probably started off where we are not too long ago. At least winter is upon us and even crazed babies wouldn't consider streaking in the snow...would they?

Day 281: O' Sleep, Where art thou?

Sleep is just a state of mind, right? It must be if not everyone needs the same amount. Atom apparently needs very little at this point. My wife and I unfortunately need more. And there never seems enough.

Is it a by-product of being deprived of the sweet Maui air? Or the lightly lapping Pacific waves? We may never know the cause but sleep has been very elusive for Atom the last two months. We have tried everything. Putting Atom to sleep later, earlier, over stuffed, well exercised, sleepy, wide awake, etc. We have shored up his schedule and tried to stick to it as much as possible but his sleep cycle is still inconsistent. Is he teething, admiring his new skills (standing, sitting), in the midst of a growth spurt, what? As of now it is hard to tell but what we do know is that we may never know why he is sleeping so unevenly.

We will continue trying as much as we can to get him back inline with what his body needs. But in the meantime even during the wee hours of the night, when we are straining to keep our eyes open, strolling him around the house or rocking him in a chair we will continue to wonder what his thinking, try to soothe him and hope he finds some sweet dreams soon.

New tricks: Momentarily standing without support, mimicry (will angry face back at us if we do it to him, will stick his tongue out back at us when we do it to him), another new round of peek-a-boo where he pulls the towel in front of his own face

Day 274: Making a Point

Point. Point. Point. What is the point? It is not always clear.

Sometimes Atom uses this index finger to probe uncharted territory such as a new toy, a new zipper, an old face, the carpet, or peanut's head. This E.T.-like appendage acts like a scout on a recognizance mission and will leave no object poked, prodded, or unturned. Please Note When carrying Atom: Even though sometimes he moves at the speed of sloth, DO NOT underestimate the tenacity or dexterity within this finger. Poked eyes are a daily occurrence for his parents.

Sometimes his index finger becomes more like one of those reaching sticks one uses to extend their reach. I don't mean one of those metal pincher types you would find at the pharmacy but more like one of the toy ones that might have a shark or dinosaur or alligator head at the end. The pincher type usually is a by product of the souvenir shop you were dragged into (Sea World = Shark or Killer Whale, San Diego Zoo = Dolphin or Shark, Bird Sanctuary = Toucan or Shark). Sharks for some reason have become the universal symbol of pinching something to pick it up. Poor Sharks. Atom uses this toy-plastic-shark-head-like-finger to grab things and usually has the same amount of success that one has using one of the real thing.

In his most human-like movement, sometimes, he actually uses his finger to point at things or people. Even though he is seemingly communicating much the same way as a more highly developed human being (such as a traffic cop, the guys on the ground while your plane is coming into or out of it's gate, or a symphony conductor) this gesture is often the hardest to understand. His tiny little pudgy finger sometimes seems to have a mind of it's own. He may point at you when you enter the room or he may point inside his mouth. Neither of which might mean what they appear to mean. He has his own logic and we're cool with that.

The poking in the eye is another issue.

Day 266: His First Halloween

Atom's first Halloween! Atom was so excited. He tried his costume on four or five times before feeling completely comfortable with it. He went as a pumpkin of course even though he was a little concerned he might look a little to Kool-Aid man-ish but he pulled it off in the end. Besides no one has seen the Kool-Aid man since he crashed through the wrong wall one too many times.

Atom knew this was his first major holiday, outside the womb, and he wanted everything to go just right. He adjusted and re-adjusted his pumpkin top hat. He made sure all of the candy was in the bowl and that it was placed just right by the front door. Atom even added a few new strategically placed decorations to show that he was fully embracing the holiday but with his own sense of style.

The day went flawlessly. A day full of a short lived attempt at a nap, one seriously upside down smile, and two very huge smiles on his parents face.

Day 260: Introducing Atom -- Chicago Style -- A few more favorite moments...

Day 260: Introducing Atom -- Chicago Style

We just got back from Chicago a few days ago. Atom finally got to meet the rest of his family. It was incredibly touching to see him interacting with everyone. Here's a few of my favorite moments out of a plethora of favorite moments.

Day 260: Posturing

Atom has perfect posture. All babies his age seems too. It is a pretty amazing thing to see. His balance is comparable to an elephant on a tight rope. His body is typically jerking in all different directions. It is only a matter of time before he falls flat on his face. But amongst all of his uncertainty, he maintains perfect posture.

I wonder if poor posture is something that just naturally over takes people over time. The weight of life slowly and methodically takes our shoulders and guides them forward. It is a rare thing to see a very old person with perfect posture. Why is that? Medical issues aside...is it because they spent too many hours agonizing about the mortgage, worrying about their calorie intake, or wondering if they are a good person?

I like to believe babies have perfect posture because they haven't yet discovered worrying. Life for a baby is open and full of possibilities. Every time I see Atom sitting (and it is rare to see him on the floor not sitting these days) with perfect posture deep inside I hope worry doesn't exist yet for him and I hope it never will.

Day 252: Sleepless in Jersey

The days of 80 degrees and nights of 70 are long gone and so it seems are Atom's sleeping habits. He has never been one for ultra consistent sleep habits but some where over the deep blue Pacific Atom's sleep switch shorted out. 

He started out like many babies and had a rough first three or so months of life. Sleep, eat, poop then repeat. All day and ALL NIGHT. Around 4 months he took mercy on us and started sleeping through the night. No consistent nap cycle during the day, he liked to keep it fluid in case something cool was happening, but 8 or 9 hours at night became the norm. We were elated. We were suddenly refreshed. We were cocky.

We knew the nap thing was in need of repair but at least a full nights sleep meant we could probably eventually out smart him with our faculties refreshed nightly. So we planned and planned and planned again about how we were going to now tackle this nap issue. I mean we had conquered the night sleeping thing, right? In fact what was the rush? "Let's celebrate our anniversary in Maui and then knock napping out of the park!"

Atom slept and slept on the flights to and fro from the 808 state in some kind of Lasker Trap that was clearly over our heads because we bought it.

Now we would give anything for 6 hours of uninterrupted nocturnal bliss. Atom has lost that sleeping feeling and seems almost worst when it comes to naps. Maybe the fun in the sun was too much for him to process. Who knows? Maybe our trip to Chicago will flip the sleep switch back. Isn't that part of the parenting wisdom? When in doubt pray for a miracle and then take the credit?

• this post is from last week, it just never got posted due to lack of sleep.

Day 242: To Maui and Back!

We're back. Roughly 12,000 miles of air travel, a long last visit with Jill, 40 diapers, 2 little swimmers, a rented car seat, a rented pack and play, one checked bag, 4 carry-on bags, 3 jars of baby food (lots of breast feeding), the road to Hana, a botanical garden, an angry face, a goodbye wave, sitting from a crawl, standing up with aid, Lahaina, sunset feedings, babysitting by Nanna, rainbow mornings and too many smiles to count.

Day 232: Collaboration sprinkled with anticipation

Atom actually helped his Mom during one of his feedings this week. Powerful synapse fired in his brain setting off multiple thought processes, muscle contractions and super human determination ending with a grand result...a wide open mouth at the appropriate time. Sublime.

Now you may be thinking "Big deal. I open and close my mouth everyday." This may not be a big deal to you Mr. Big Shot but for Atom it was monumental.

Even though Atom is becoming smarter everyday he doesn't always used his new found brilliance for good. In fact he seems to be channeling it into creative endeavors and in-animate object impressions. Even though we encourage him and want his imagination to blossom, there is a time and place for everything.

Say, we might think it is a good idea for him to get into his car seat so we can go somewhere, well, he has decided his car seat is the perfect stage to work on his impression of a stiff board. Say, we think it would be a good idea to change his dirty stinky diaper, well, he usually decides laying like a board on his stomach is much more interesting.  Say, we think his high chair would be a good spot to eat, well, again Atom has decided that his chair is the perfect spot for practicing aforementioned board impression. (I have to admit he really does do a good board. Make sure to check out his show next time your in town.)

Every day it is board here, board there, board upside down. So you can imagine our delight when, after a long performance of board sticking out of a high chair, he quietly ate with his mommy. Opening and closing his mouth without coaxing and at the appropriate times.

Maybe he was just giving us a false sense of security before his next performance of crying board sticking out of a stroller but for that brief moment it sure did feel like we might have tamed this strange creature that is Atom.

Day 223: Remote competition

clearly this is going to be a problem...

Day 216: Unbridled Joy

The last few weeks have been action packed with Atom. If he is tired and hungry, he cries. If his mom reads his favorite book, he laughs. Sounds so simple, right? If you are happy you should laugh about it. But at some point most people start to censor themselves and no longer do they throw their heads back and cackle at a funny face or a fart noise. Adults learn to guard their emotions. They learn the power of emotions. They learn to master, some of us better than others, their emotions. And this is necessary to have a community or society. I get that. But it is hard to believe that the pure optimistic melody created by Atom's riotous roars someday might be bridled.

The story of Peter Pan never really resonated with me growing up. I liked the pirate aspect I guess but I could just as easily have been entertained by an episode of Hong Kong Phooey.  As I got older I intellectually understood the idea of needing to keep that sense of wonder in the world to be happy but emotionally it still seemed like an odd story to me. You have the jerky guy in green tights, a suspicious little fairy, children without adult supervision, all on one side, and then these funny looking Pirates on the other. Just weird.

But as I sit back and let Atom's laughs naturally resonate throughout my numbed grey matter it makes me think maybe there really was something to that Pan fellow. It is hard not to smile or laugh when Atom falls into one of his belly busting laughing fits. I wonder if all babies are capable spreading this sound? And if so why haven't I heard it before? Why does laughter suddenly sound so different? I have heard perhaps thousands of people laugh. Even some at incredibly inappropriate times. I can even tell the difference between fake and real laughs…but this…his laugh, it is something that I was completely unprepared for.

Day 210: One of the guys

Day 201: A Sit-In

Day 200: Atom vs Punk Music

Babies don't like Punk music. There I said it.

It semi breaks my heart but it is becoming pretty clear Atom doesn't see the point when it comes to Punk. I am not even talking about hard core Punk or anything. I am talking about the more "easy listening" varietals like Rancid.

I had this vision that he and I would sit around listening to mp3's, streaming audio, or whatever the listening method is when he is old enough to have an intelligent conversation about the subtle nuances that make some bands great and others forgettable.  The both of us sipping coffee from our mobile devices listening to streaming Swinging Utters on our Teleporter Toaster 3000 that "Not only evenly toasts your bread but also sends it piping hot right to your breakfast table!"  Ah, the future you can't come soon enough.

Now Atom does listen and enjoy "non-traditional" baby music. Our friends introduced us to the Candy Band which sing "punked-out" versions of songs like "The Wheels on the Bus", "Over the Rainbow" and "I've Been Working on the Railroad" and Atom seems to thoroughly enjoy them. But they aren't really punk songs.  They use the same style and pace of many punk songs but they obviously lack the angst filled anarchy that dissipates when describing how the windows on the bus go up and down.

One would think baby music would be a prefect fit for Punk. They both share fairly basic themes, lots of repetition, and at times rudimentary beats. The rub is in the attitude. One can't totally get away with a lot of attitude in baby music. Candy Band does a good job balancing attitude and accessibility (kids probably don't have nightmares after listening to them) but it is deceiving because it really isn't deep rooted attitude even though it feels like it on the surface.

So I guess for now Atom and I will listen to lots of different types of baby music and strive to build a robust palette of musical interests. When his treads are worn down a little more maybe we will revisit Punk until then I guess he will be like most other babies skipping the mosh pits in favor of a good cry.

Day 193: Atom at a Crawl!

 

No I didn't just recently find the upload video buttons on this blog...even if I did, and I am not saying I did, you have to admit it has been a video worthy few weeks. 

Eating solid food, drinking water, and crawling required more than just a still image if I was going to make an attempt at capturing the excitement around our house.

Don't worry in the weeks to come I will find a happy medium between my blah blah blah's and video renditions of his cha cha cha's. But in the mean time enjoy Atom in all his 24 fps glory, once again.

Day 187: Solid Food #2 - Yummy Peas

Atom had Peas for the first time this week. Yep we tried to tackle the Dennis Rodman of small pod-shape seeds. Unlike his last food, Bananas, Peas never were easy to swallow from Atom.

Damn you Peas! We will master you! One of these days when you least expect it, when you are sufficiently comfortable with your smug little self...you will go down!

As a side note, the voices you hear in the video are not a TV on in the background but my parents, brother and Atom's cousin Gannon watching via Skype. For my brother it was his first time meeting Atom (and doing a video chat) and it was pretty amazing to share Atom with him. Technology is my friend at times.

Day 181: Meaningful Babble

Atom, aside from his other tremendous accomplishments this week of entering into production on another tooth and eating solid food for the first time, started to put language and objects together.

Mind you he hasn't yet quite mastered English or object identification for that matter but he has been producing Baby Babble for a while now. However, now he sometimes will look at an object and start babbling like a tour guide in a museum.

Last night I handed him his elephant rattle/teether and his eyes lit up. He reached out with both hands (because why use one if the other one isn't busy), pulled elephant closer and then proceeded to babble me that "elephants are emotional creatures. Whenever they come across another elephant that has passed away they become visibly upset and appear to mourn the loss."

I told Atom that I DID know that and that I had actually ridden an elephant before in Loxahatchee, Florida at Lion Country Safari. He babbled to me "stop being a know it all".

Day 177: First Food...Sort of

Day 173: Magnificent Milestone

Atom will be six months old on Sunday. Six months...hard to believe. Six months of breathing, blinking, burping, bubbling, babbling, bewilderment, and belief (the last three were my wife and I).
I thought in honor of this magnificent milestone I would summarize a few of the things we have learned so far. Don't worry this isn't like a sitcom where they need mid-season filler so they just paste old re-runs together. I hate that. And I hate that those episodes never die either. They should not be a part of the series syndication either. Oh man don't get me started! I talking about you Seinfeld!

I hope I can shine a new light or at least a brighter one now that my wife and I have mastered parenthood. After six months on the job we have obviously learned all there is to know.

Here's what we know (at least when it comes to Atom)…

• Your body can run on even less sleep than you know. You know that record you set way back in college during finals? You dug deep down inside and crammed for that Acting for Non-Theater Majors final? That all-nighter? Well kiss that record good-bye. Infants will take you to all new levels of exhaustion that don't seem possible but are infinitely worth it.
• Take everything that isn't nailed down at the hospital. Blankets, hats, vaseline, whatever you can get your hands on because it will come in handy later.
• The cheaper diapers work just as good/better than the expensive ones. Go cheap if you find one that works.
• You can never take too many pictures.
• All babies are "good" babies. When you are wearing baby goggles your own baby can do no wrong. Just remember not everyone owns goggles.
• Bodily Fluids Flow Freely. The will flow and flow and flow. Our washing machine has almost run non-stop since the beginning. Be prepared.
• If you have a boy, use a wash cloth to cover the privates during diaper changes. (see Bodily Fluid Flow Freely above)
• Babies "bounce" better than you do. Babies are tough and flexible. You are probably not. Comfortably position yourself BEFORE you hold the baby, feed the baby, or carry the baby.
• Take turns watching the baby. Everyone loves the baby and cherishes every moment with him but even Jesus needed a day to recoup.
• The unexpected is just that.
• Prepare to talk to everyone about your child. You will find yourself working him into the oddest conversations uncontrollably.

Person 1: "Pauly D grabs like 40 gallons of gel and is like WHAM!"
Person 2: "The show is like a social experiment."
ME: "Speaking of experiments you should have seen Atom's diaper this morning."

• Laughter. It is sometimes your only weapon against a tired baby.
• Singing anything to Atom can help navigate to a happy place. Even if you don't know the words. Just make them up. Babies don't know the difference.
• Swaddling isn't for everyone.

Above anything else…enjoy your baby. Enjoy the looks on other people's faces when they see him. Enjoy his bizarre noises that dismantle the din surrounding you. Enjoy the moment when he hates lying on his stomach. Enjoy the moment when he hates lying on his back. Enjoy the moment when he finds his hands, his feet, and his voice. Enjoy the wonderment in his eyes at trees, cars, and ceiling fans. Enjoy the feeling that overcomes you at seeing him, hearing him, and holding him. Enjoy your renewed belief in all that is right with the world…and enjoy it while it lasts because the teenage years are quickly approaching.

Day 165: Duuuun Dun, Duuun dun, DuunDun

We have been pleasantly surprised time and time again by seemingly the most mundane occurrences. The shear act of Atom bringing his hands together to grab a toy in front of his face elicits a rapture of riotous approval. Amazement washes over us every time he recognizes one of us and purposely rolls over (like a drunken Otter) towards us. Even watching Atom wake up in the morning is a stupendous sight to be seen. But the thing that happened this week is more monumental than all the rest. He had a First. His First Tooth is tunneling towards the surface!

I can admit now, looking back, that the idea of First is new to me. Even armed with an English degree and an extreme comfort level digesting dialog I now know I never understood this simple concept. And when I say "concept" I mean just that. Of course I understood the base level meaning of First (being before all others with respect to time, order, rank, importance, etc.) but I guess all those Gertrude Stein classes never really stuck because I realize I have taken the meaning for granted.

First is so much more than just coming before others in something, it is also and more importantly the BEGINNING of something. I must have known this at some point but years of sports/society teaching me that being First always came at the expense/lack of achievement of others buried it deep down in the dark regions of my memory (probably under my 6 years of Spanish and the location of that cool Scally Cap I briefly owned).

In this case Atom is not the First person to have a tooth. He is not the first baby to have a tooth either. He's not even the smallest being in our household with a tooth (it is a toss up between Peanut and possibly whatever bit Sharon when she was sleeping two days ago). But Atom's tooth represents the BEGINNING of something special that is happening.

The BEGINNING of eating solid food. The BEGINNING of self defense. The BEGINNING of proper diction. The BEGINNING of a classic smile. The BEGINNING of crème de la crème whistling. The BEGINNING of tooth aches and potential orthodontia. The BEGINNING of his.... independence. (Sigh)

DAY 158: Shine a Light

One of the most powerful moments in my life so far has come seemingly out of one of the most mundane actions. A meaningless action that I have done millions of times before from coast to coast without ever really thinking much of it.

I am talking about walking in the door after a long day of work. In the past, my wife was the single bright light that guided me home. I only needed to spot her light dancing across the landscape of my mind and auto pilot engaged. No matter how cluttered my mind got with shadows of doubt or (in)decision from the day her light was a constant warm ray providing calm clarity.

I know what you are thinking and no her light has never been brighter. But this is a blog about Atom so...there is an additional light now that illuminates the crevasses and quagmires of my cranium: Atom's Light. A light that is so new, so fragile, and so powerful it can't be ignored.

I see this light most clearly on those occasions where I walk in the door Zombie-like and his gaze pierces the numbness brought on by the day. His eyes usually sparkle first and then white light bursts from his mouth in the form of laughter or a sly smile.  Suddenly the world around me fills with color. Everything outside our little trinity melts away into a brief oblivion and all is right. (My wife's light is there too and combines with Atom's to produce this brilliant aurora borealis like effect that envelops us all.)

It sounds like a melodramatic scene out of Fantasia (the only thing we are missing is Mickey in his wizard outfit) but it does happen. Poof! I am healed. The tourists walking slow in front of me in Times Square, the pedestrians positioning themselves in front of me at every intersection and the long long trek home seem small compared to this antidote(l) action. I guess it just goes to show you never know what amazing things may be revealed by simply opening a door.

I can't imagine what is going to happen when Atom eventually perfects his army crawl or drunken baby walk. All kids run to meet their parents when they walk in the door, right? Or I am again having Disney flashbacks? Don't worry if I see a dancing Whale in our front yard I will immediately seek medical attention (right after I take a moment to enjoy the show because we all know they dnever last long enough).

Day 152: Atom vs. The Speedboat

Lately Sharon and I have felt like we were sitting front row at a Gallagher Show. Only we haven't donned raincoats and the show is actually good. Atom has incorporated a new bit into his act. Not only does he seem to be able to blow endless bubbles in various sizes out of thin air but now he likes to impersonate a Speedboat.


No he has never seen a speedboat to the best of our knowledge but his impression is spot on. He even captures the subtle nuances of someone shifting gears and applying various levels of pressure to the throttle.


His performance usually starts off somewhat slow. He closes his lips tight and proceeds to make minor fart noises. If his audience appears to be into it (and we always are) he really lets loose. Lips vibrating, saliva sporadically spraying, and a steely stare embody his persona. It is truly a sight to be seen.


I think for me one of the best things about these impromptu jam sessions is Atom's underlying collaborative nature really shines through. No ego. No formality. No judgement.


In fact, he and I engaged in a 45 minute saliva sing-a-long without giving it a second thought over the weekend. He started with a steady bass line "Thurrrrp, Thurrrrp, Thurrrp" and I quickly jumped in with some hellacious harmonic lines of "Thruuub, Thruuuub, Thruub". We lost ourselves to the moment and didn't re-surface until my lips were numb and a drool pool had formed at my feet.


For me...the recital was epic and even though afterwards Atom instantly moved on to a staring contest with the ceiling fan above my head, I think for a brief moment we both knew something sublime had just been created.


I felt like a young jazz musician in New York after WWII who just happened to wander into Minton's Playhouse. If only Dizzy had a chance to jam with Atom...Jazz may have become the next sliced bread.

Day 147: Atom the Terrific Tetramand

Can I get an "Amen!"

The darkness that had descended upon our house, gave Atom his mega cold and (what I believe) caused our 100+ foot Ash tree to fall seems has lifted.

Atom is on the road to recovery. He flips into Tummy time with ease, periodically jettisons all excess fluids, and is ready for a bender of belly laughs whenever some else is game. He still seems to have some tenacious toxins loitering around but their time will come soon.

To celebrate his recovery Atom has decided to put his feet directly into his mouth whenever his hands aren't occupying said space. His freakishly strong legs and toes have become more and more active over the last month or so. He loves to not only kick things but to grab and cradle things in an octopus-like manner. I think his legs are actually developing into their own independent entities. They seem to always be working and it isn't clear if he has control over them or they over him.

Much like Dr. Otto Gunther Octavius Atom can be feverishly working over his froggy toy with his left hand, mouth wrist deep with is right, his left foot shaming Pele with powerful soccer kicks to his Toucan toy, all the while doing what appears to be simple math with his right. It is truly an amazing sight.

Atom is well underway to being some kind of Octo-person who isn't limited to primarily only using his arms/hands for everyday activities. In fact this morning while his arms were busy punching me in the throat and poking at my eyes he calmly popped his right big toe into his mouth for a little soothing.

Clearly we are witnessing the next step in human evolution. Say good-bye to foot coverings and hello to actual Tetramands!

Day 140: A Steady Cold Drip

We are in semi quarantine. Much like the good idea/bad film Quarantine we find ourselves locked away, dramatically fighting off a vicious virus and wondering if we will ever make it out of this alive.

Atom was the first to fall to what appears to be some kind of super cold. Being as this is his first cold/illness we are all scrambling to make sense of the situation.  If only his wee little vocal chords were working in cahoots with his frontal and temporal lobes surely the case could be cracked with some certainty.

I will try to walk us through the series of events here in an genealogical manner in hopes that someone else might be able to pick up the sleuthing for us after I surely succumb to this unstoppable force of evil.  My wife has already fallen (and we all know my immune system is no match for hers) and that can only mean one thing: I am next.

Day 135:
Atom went to a family party
- He begins to act cranky while listening to pleasantries and platitudes
- We note his uncomfortableness as a by product of the East cost humidity that assaults ones skin from roughly 8 months out of the year
- We give him a bath and forget about it

Day 136:
He once again seems "off". He is basically phoning in his tummy time.
- We shower him with love and talk to him endlessly, asking him repeatedly what is wrong.

Day 137:
- Next day he wakes up with copious amounts of dried alien mucus all over his face. Alarmed we search for other signs of alien abduction. We find nothing.
 - Our only option is to go to the doctor and see if they have any ancient magic that can rid him of this germ-atic invasion
- Armed with steam baths and facial tissue we set out to tackle this unholy intrusion together.

Day 138:
- More of the same. My courageous in-laws, throwing all caution to the wind, help watch him during the day. We continue to ask him repeatedly "What is wrong?" He is still not talking.
- 3 days in and more heart breaking confusion on his face than any of can handle and the now Sharon starts to show symptoms. Their combined moaning is enough to melt an ice cube.

Day 139:
- Wheezing reins supreme in our house. Atom is utterly befuddled by his predicament.
- He has brief moments of cleared passages but then quickly falls back into mucus mania.
- My wife has somehow not only claimed all of Atom's symptoms but added some new ones to mix

Patient Zero has yet to come out the shadows and reveal him/herself to us. We are too deep at this point to maintain our constant mental line ups of all of the suspicious customers that have come in and out of our life in the last week or so. But know this...(Sneeze)....we WILL find YOU and we will make sure you get your COMEUPPANCE.

Day 137: Situation Anticipation

It has been a pretty exciting week around here. Atom finally met my dad in person (not just through video chats), his front arms got strong enough to do mini push ups,
his legs continued to work towards mastering crawling, his wobbly neck got less wobbly, seemingly hundreds of diapers were changed and he added anticipation to his mental repertoire.

It really is amazing to see him make the connection of established behavior (and at times, new behavior) with an emotional response. He has always been a stand-up comedian's best friend. Smirking, chuckling and all out belly laughter spew from him with the same frequency of his other bodily functions. He confirms our secret suspicion that we are truly gifted comedians that really never got our shot.

Now this behavior seems to work best with my wife and her material but I am confident that I too will be able to eventually win him over. As much as I would love to be invited to sit down at Jay's desk after a killer set...seeing the huge gummy smile, and uninhibited joy on Atom's face as he anticipates his next laugh would truly be a heart warming triumph.

I know exactly how it would play out because it happens in the reverse almost every day with Sharon playing the lead role. In my scenario Sharon would be doing something in another distant room as she hears Atom roaring in joy down the hall. The laughing is so contagious that she can't help but smile. Her smile will continue to grow until it strains the very fabric of her face. Maybe even one of the many deer pooping in our yard at the time will stop, feel overcome by hearing such a magical melody and decide to do his business elsewhere. Sharon will be driven into the room and witness a beautiful give and take. Me repeating my hilarious fart noise and Atom anticipating it each time with little jolly jubilant jewels.

Until I am lucky enough or good enough to illicit this response I will just keep working on fart noises and dream about the future.

Day 129: WiggleWorm becomes an InchWorm

A horned chameleon, a three-toed sloth and a Corgi all probably can cover more ground than Atom in a race but who cares about them. Atom, or at least the back half of him, definitely has things to do and places to go.

This week Atom has been focusing his efforts into motion. Not merely rolling back and forth (that was so last month) but in a linear fashion. Place him on his mat and no sooner does he flip over but, in a manner that would make Fred Flintstone proud, his legs start to pedal. With mighty grunts and a silva slickened street ahead he begins his journey. A journey that takes him through his mat's jungle landscape, a monkey here...a jolly Sun there, and usually into our oh so chic Shag rug.

Start Shag Rug/Fad rant...

A shag rug seems cool when you don't have kids but when you have do...starts to make one feel oh to similar to their 1970's parents. All fads should come with label attached stating the exact moment in time they were considered cool and a warning that they should be either thrown into a closet or throw onto the curb in no more than 5 years after the cool date. The closet because we all know it will come back "in" roughly 20 years later and the curb because we all know the mere act of garbage picking an item extends it cool factor by two years (4 years if you are in college).

End Shag Rug/Fad rant... 

Then we pick him up, move him back onto his mat and off he goes again. I know in some circles his technique would be considered poor form. He is more snow plow-like than a graceful quadruped but I give him an "A" for effort and that always scores high with the judges.

The problem is he isn't supposed to be trying to crawl yet. He is supposed to be just learning to flip over. Curse his over-achieving attitude! I guess that is what happens when someone is ahead of their time. Their efforts may look awkward and crude to the un-trained eye but the essence of their action appears poetic to their neophyte parent.

I know too that he isn't breaking any land speed records here but I imagine that is only a matter simple physics. Once he decides to pick up his anchor (his head) and execute a full-blown crawl, who knows what records will fall in his wake. I dare to hope we can keep up with him.

Day 122: Moments of Recognition

I am "one". You are "one". Atom is "one". All so confusing...and at first Atom could care less. Every one appeared to just be a "one" to him. All the same (aside from his Mom and their obviously special bond). He would pretty much act the same to every "one". A nurse at the doctor's office, our dwarf bunny Peanut or myself all seemed to share in Atom's limited tool box of expressions. He didn't reserve a cuddly half smirk out of the left side of his mouth for me anymore than he did for the random stranger peering at him in his car seat. We all got to witness equally his sublime but limited range of expressions.

Last night that finally changed for me. I was gone for a very long time and returned late at night to find Atom happily still awake. I peered into his crib and went through our normal greetings and salutations. "How's it going Atom?" "How was your day?" Did you poop yet?" And suddenly his eyes shifted from a general glaze to an electric blue and I was greeted with a huge gummy smile. He quickly inserted his hand into his mouth and squealed an "affirmative" to my last question and like that...we had a moment. We made a connection. I was no longer just something that helped keep his belly full and his bottom dry. I was some"one". "Someone" he recoginized. Someone that generated meaning to his greeting. Wow! I felt a bolt of pride and, much like the Grinch, my heart grew a few sizes that day. It was an incredible feeling. Never has a greeting resonnated so loudly within my soul. He could have still been in the after glow of his latest bodily function but I will always remember it as the day I became a "someone".

Day 116: A galaxy far far away

Atom is completely on the move, both vertically and horizontally. He is still growing at an alarming rate, for us at least, and he apparently has places to be because he cannot sit still. Even in his sleep he is in a constant state of perpetual motion. Turning, kicking, punching, stretching and rolling. His poor bassinet cannot handle all of this activity. Not only is he testing the structural weight limit (15 lbs) of the bassinet but his baby-fu is tenaciously working the walls around him.

So to our chagrin we moved him to the crib. The crib that is miles and miles from our bedroom right next door. It felt like we were setting up an outpost on some distant planet. Crib: Check! Monitor: Check! Tight fitting sheets: Check! Confirm free flow of oxygen: Check! Baby: check! Our fears: Check!

We changed him, tested the hand held monitors at various distances, and then gingerly put Atom into orbit. We each stole a few thousand glances and then went back to home base (our room).

"Pop", "Crack". The static over my hand held jumped into life.  Like the command crew for Apollo 13, I jumped into action. I quickly adjusted the volume (there is only one button on the entire unit) and stared intently at the monitor. "Sounds like he might be awake" I said. "Should I check on him?" Without waiting for a reply I was off.  Down the hall I went. It was worse then I could have imagined. He was still asleep but his foot was dangling out of the crib through one of the slats. I quickly put it back into his capsule and went to home base to report my findings. "Wuurrrp", "Wurrrp". This time we both jettisoned down the hallway in a coordinated rescue effort. Still asleep. Hand sticking through the slots of the crib this time. What were the manufacturers thinking with this shotty design! Surely those slots aren't regulation size. Or at least doctors should allow bumpers again. Amateurs.

Atom was called back to home base and his first mission considered a failure due to equipment malfunction. Not entirely a bad thing. We had another night with him in our room and much like the flight crew we came up with a tremendous solution.

The last few night he has slept in his Pack and Play (mesh walls: oxygen and plasticity) in our room. Maybe his current mission isn't as thrilling as his last considering it's low orbit but for home base it is imperative to feel more confident before we send him out into the outer limits of our little galaxy.

Day 107: Our Missing Piece

Today was the first day both my wife and I left Atom behind as we trudged off to the big city. I couldn't help but think of one of my favorite books growing up called "The Missing Piece" by Shel Silverstein. If you aren't familiar with the story it is basically about a PacMac looking circle that searches near and far for the pie shaped piece to make him complete. Not sure how the Pac man actually rolls around without his circle being a full. I would think he would start to roll, get half way around and have his gaping hole get stuck on a rock or something. Or maybe he would get stuck on the first step he rolled against. But no he travels all over the place, never snagging his pie hole on any impediments singing happily. Not very realistic in my opinion but I guess if Atari can also use this voodoo logic and get away it I had to accept it growing up.

So both of us, broken-hearted, spent the longest single amount of time away from him since he made his historic appearance 107 days ago. In the past, one of us had been around to text the other about his Herman Munster laugh, hiccups or acrobatic antics. Today I was relinquished to a measly 3 or 4 texts from Sharon relaying second hand information (he slept, he didn't poop, he ate, etc.) when she had a spare moment during pumping. How could I possibly survive with such little Atoms being fed to me? Is he rubbing his eyes (cause that means he is tired), is he working through his fingers like a juicy fourth of july corn on the cob (cause that means he's hungry), or did his piggies even make it to the vegetarian market (cause that is the only thing that makes him stop crying)? Luckily I have ten million pics of him on my computer to soothe my fix.

I apparently have made it through the day and still have the mental capacity to flex my fingers cause I am feverishly writing this to help pass the time. I wasn't sure I would make it. It helps knowing Atom was in good hands visiting with his grandparents today. It doesn't help that the bus is over crowded and traffic is slow. My mind keeps drawing mental pictures of Sharon and Atom now snuggling on the couch enjoying a private moment that only they can share. Sharon and Atom have a bond unmatched and I am glad they have some time together before I make two, three.

Much like Shel Silverstein's PacMan I too have found my missing piece however I could never imagine leaving it behind to sing songs while searching for another piece. I am completely content singing our songs with our missing piece in tow even if they all have to do with Poop at this point.

Day 102: Rolling Rolling Rolling

Atom has suddenly become mobile. He has always been very active with the kicking and punching but never really was anything more than a stationary dervish. Now, much like a Weeble Wobble, Atom can freely and willfully roll over to his side when lying on his back. It is a very awkward and humorous maneuver but it gets the job done.  He straightens out his legs and rocks his entire lower body back and forth until he has enough momentum to follow with his upper body. Although he seems to favor one side (his right), he can roll to either side with equal effort and success.

One of the odd by products of his technique, a technique which ironically I seem to be adopting the older I get, is a clock-like rotation. Atom starts to drift clockwise with every rollover attempt and with in seconds can be completely facing in a different position than which he started. The drift isn't a problem but it can be disorientating for a parent who is running on fumes. I am getting the eerie feeling that the days of plopping him down on his mat worry-free and leaving the room to get my fourth cup of coffee will soon be a thing of the past. It won't be long before we are chasing him around the house wondering if we will ever get our first cup of coffee. Clearly he is already plotting his get away as he has taken to kneading his hands in front of his chest while displaying an intense look in his eyes. The only thing missing is Sean Connery, a kitty cat, and a sinister laugh. For now I will pour my fourth cup of coffee (too much coffee I know), head back to the living room and look down with confidence at Atom in the same place he was when I briefly left the room. His head may now be where his feet were when I left and he may be on his leaning over on his side but at least I am not winded and fighting off a caffeine head ache.

Day 95: The Sound of Baby

I have never been so in tune with sounds. No babble, burst, cackle, coo, cry, guffaw, jabber, laugh, moan, murmur, shriek, shout, snort, squeal, toot, yell or whine goes unnoticed. We are constantly sifting through the cacophony that is Atom in hopes of illuminating his disposition. They are clues, right? Meant as bread crumbs into his soul, right? Right...Well that's what we think.

Us humans are used to abandoned and often times un-welcomed pontification and discourse and it is only logical for us to assume every noise coming out of Atom is a slightly garbled cipher waiting to be unraveled. Sharon and I listen intently at every gurgle, gulp, and giggle feverishly translating for each other. "Oh, that means he is hungry!" "The use of a guttural tone at the end meant he wants to be changed." "Three coo's on Thursdays means he wants to watch The Office."

Much like The Da Vinci Code, I believe we are only about two - two and a half hours away from cracking this whole Baby-ese thing wide open. The last remaining hurtle seems to be that Atom is smarter than we are and he is changing his code at an alarming rate.  Like a very talented Code Talker he seamlessly floats between what appears to be many dialects or versions of Pig Latin with new types added daily.

I hope he slows down one day long enough for us to completely understand all of his desires, dreams, wants and wishes so we are sure to meet them.

For now, we will keep our ears open and continue to confidently tell each other that two gulps followed by a long wet slurp means he wants another hug.

Day 88: Monkey Punch

Atom is really getting this hand-eye coordination thing down. Flapping his appendages wildly practically on purpose doesn't fill up his entire day anymore.  He now takes periodic breaks from the imaginary melee to master his focus. Don't get me wrong, random strikes in all directions against thousands of would be attackers clearly is still fun for him and is the cornerstone of his Baby-Fu. No one or thing including eyes, noses or rattles are safe from his constant barrage. Even in his sleep he still musters up the energy to sometimes violently lash out at an unsuspecting basinet wall. (It's like sleeping next to two Tasmanian Devils in a turf war.)

But now his new weapon, and his most deadly of all, seems to be his focus. When he isn't trying to read your mind (which appears to be constantly) he turns his focus on harnessing his strike force onto a specific target. I like to hold his Monkey Rattle above him and watch his focus turn from carefree drifter to that of a Ninja. He will lie in wait until the monkey has completely forgotten he is there and then with what seems to be the power of a small rabbit or maybe a squirrel, launches a series of strikes at the monkey. Most of the strikes must be used to contain the monkey in the same way that some species of dolphin herd their food, as they usually miss by about 6 inches or so. Eventually the monkey gets what is coming to him with pinpoint accuracy. BAM! I am not comparing Atom's focus or strike to that of Bruce Lee and his famed 1 inch punch but…it might be not that far off. That's all I am saying.

Day 80: A Wrinkle in Time

There is now the beginnings of a WRINKLE on Atoms face. Two months old and already the weight of the world is beginning to show. What's next? Grey hair? It's just too much to bear as a parent. The Wrinkle in question has started to form across the bridge of his nose and it is basically invisible to the casual observer. It is however painstakingly obvious to a doting parent, namely ME. Wrinkle is called into action when Atom is upset or crying and it visually and metaphorically represents all that is wrong with the world. Why should someone so small have so much pain that it physically re-shapes his perfect skin? Why should someone so small have to learn that the best way to physically represent what you are feeling on the inside is to distort your outside?

Fortunately for us his world is a pretty easy one and we are lucky enough to not have too much calamity in our lives sans the occasional cold hand or full diaper. He doesn't even seem to be too self conscious about Wrinkle. He hasn't spent countless hours shopping for the perfect face lift or spackling his face with exotic creams yet. He is perfectly content enlisting this new ally into his execution of the world's saddest face all the while knowing the end result is like Kryptonite to his parents. The deeper Wrinkle goes, the quicker we jump to help him. Pretty smart for someone who thinks the sole purpose for fingers is to stick them into your mouth, eyes, and nose. I am starting to wonder if this is all a part of his plan. Learn the emotional aspect of things first and then let the less complicated things like neck control, bowel control, and speech fall into place later.

He hasn't stopped with Wrinkle either.  This emotional metamorphosis is spreading to other ares of his face too. He has added slight bends, for emphasis, to his unbelievably straight eye brows. God helps us!

Things we have learned so far:
Diapers are like dentures. You never know how they are going to fit until you test them out in action and when they don't quite fit the result can be disastrous. So we rate 7th Gen as good for pee but try to stay out of the blasting zone for anything else.  Luvs are good for all occasions including for night time but hard on the mental state because of the chemicals. Pampers are like sports cars. Stylish, great design but no real backseat.

Day 73: What's in a smile? #2

Atom has been working hard this week. He has added not one but two smiles now to his repertoire. He has sort of a slanted right side of the mouth smirky thing that he does when he is not fully committed to the smile. He does it seemingly more to let you know he appreciates your effort. The goofy sounds coming out of your mouth and the crazy eyes you made didn't go unnoticed. He got it . Now move on.

His other smile is pure unabashed joy. A stop you in your tracks and take your breath away smile. It's a huge toothless mouth smile that is obscenely wide. Maniacal almost in nature except it couldn't be any more innocent. There is something magical in watching the discovery of happiness and joy manifested by genuine expression. It is an inclusionary smile that bubbles under your own skin as it commandeers your facial muscles and explodes out in a reactionary smile. I find myself not even aware I am smiling and smiling so wide my jaw usually hurts afterward.

The most sublime moment might just be a smile dancing across Atom's face. The fact that he hasn't quite enlisted the rest of his face into the act doesn't matter in the least. A smile so pure and raw that hasn't been worn down by self consciousness is truly a powerful thing. I'm not sure I could take a full face smile at this point.

Day 64: Baby Talk

One of the most difficult classes I have ever taken was about the origins of the English language. The course covered everything from how sounds are formed by the mouth to The Great Vowel Shift. Sounds just like a class every sophomore in college wants to take, right? The hardest thing about the class was that we had to translate text and speak text in "languages" that didn't exist anymore. I had no frame of reference for how everything was supposed to sound. At least when it came to my Spanish classes I could hear the language being spoken or hear it in action whenever I wanted. But Old English? There just weren't many 500 year old people kickin the Hacky Sack around at our student union. It was, in my opinion, cruel and unusual punishment to put such a popular and socially centric young man through theses cerebral somersaults.

Well now I am finding myself in a similar situation where I am trying to decipher a language that seems made up. Atom is talking. "Baby" talking to be clear. CLEAR is precisely the problem though. It is not CLEAR what he is trying to say. It is incredibly sweet. Incredibly endearing. Incredibly frustrating.

He is so so so close it appears to conquering this communication thing. Atom even has a set of built in facial expressions to go along with his coos and grunts. I know two month olds don't typically spout soliloquies but the intention appears to be there. He is so convincing that it makes me feel dense. Dense like his "statement" should be abundantly clear. It is the oddest feeling. Both of us speaking back and forth in languages that sound like gibberish to each other.

Don't get me wrong I am thoroughly enjoying this new challenge and find a sense of achievement when we are able to carry on pleasant conversations for twenty minutes or so at a time. In fact I think I learn more in these exchanges than I do in most of my other "English" conversations I partake in. I just hope we can always share these special moments even if we both think the other person is talking nonsense.

Day 57: Baby Stretches

I am noticing an alarming correlation between Atom's full body, face crunched, contorted into an incredibly awkward position stretches and my own almost full body, leathery, bent into a dangerously awkward position stretches. Obviously his are more improvisational and jellylike in nature while I look more like a 80 year old gymnast making an attempt to reclaim past glory but in the rawest form I see a resemblance.

This correlation is obviously disturbing for many reasons. Who invented this stretch? Was he born with it? IS that the only trait of mine he has acquired? Did I start out that way, so flexible and free, when I was a baby and now many broken down years later lucky to be able to touch my toes on regular basis? Food for thought.

The other side is just as alarming. The other side being me of course. Am I mimicking him now? AM I regressing back to childlike behavior? Is there something in him that I am trying to emulate? Drink for thought at the very least.

You may think none of this is problematic or that I am being hyper sensitive but that's what new parents do. Isn't it? We stare at our new child for hours on end and analyze everything about him. Even if he is just laying on his playmat like a wet noodle we strive to find that meaning, or connection between him and our selves. I used to spend a tremendous amount of time stalking the Pacific Ocean. I couldn't get enough of it. I could spend an entire day staring into the giant body of water and loose myself in myself. I would re-route my daily travels as much as possible to maybe get the chance to sneak a peek at it. I'm surprised no restraining orders were ever issued. Now I find myself staring the same way Atom. The sublime rushes in and over takes my senses. I can stare at him for hours on end sometimes deep in thought and others seemingly floating between levels of conscientiousness. The truly amazing thing is for all of those hours of staring at the Pacific Ocean I don't think I ever saw myself in it and now now I do in Atom. I hope he has some of my other stellar attributes in addition to my stretch but even if he doesn't the connection has been made. And for that I am amazed.

Day 52: What's in a smile?

He did it. He really did it. A smile. Well, it was a baby smile. All mis-shapen, crooked and beautiful. Atom has officially moved from random sleep smiles to what appears to be purposeful goodness.

You might say "But isn't he in the mimic stage? The stage where he might try to mimic your facial expressions." Yes, you are right, he is in the mimic stage. The stage where he enjoys doing more than just stare dead eyed at you until you feel the urge to give him all your money. I am not trying to minimize how cool this stage is but BAM! He entered the stage and kept going right into smiles. A feat few zombies walking around New York City seem to have mastered themselves.

I have to give my wife credit because she seems to bring the most out of Atom and of course he can't seem to smile enough around her. In fact, everyone smiles around her so I didn't put much into this new trick until he turned that gummy mug on me. Mona Lisa looks quite Munch-ish compared to him when he lets it loose. It is hard to describe the feeling when your child smiles at you for the first time. Your lungs expand with a sudden burst of oxygen, your heart squeezes an extra beat into your normal rhythm and time slows to a few frames a second in effort to capture the image into your memory. I feel lucky to have been the beneficiary of his smile and hope many more people feel that way over the course of his life.

Not only does he have a smile that could sell smog to an Angeleno but this means he is learning muscle control. He is making the connection between feelings and how to physically express them. He is making his first attempts at communication. He is looking at me and saying "You make me happy". Of course another explanation is he is looking at me sand saying "Do you smell that?"

Day 46: Bottle Feeding

We tried bottle feeding for our first time this week. It was a small yet stressful hurtle for us. We need to get Atom used to the bottle but at the same time his schedule isn't 100% set with breastfeeding and it made us nervous to introduce another nipple into the game.

We have read and have been told by other parents about a  wide range of possible reactions to the bottle. Some said it would be a problem others said he won't want to breastfeed anymore because he will fall in love with the speed and convenience. I guess even with the low-flow nipples his intake is "faster" from the bottle when compared to the boob. Well once again the old saying that every baby is different has come into play here. Atom doesn't seem to even understand the difference between RN (real nipple) and FN (fake nipple) at least on the surface and for the first try. He drank as he normally would, I got the opportunity to bond a little with him, and my wife got to pump and "relax". The hardest thing was the psychological effect it had on us I believe. The bottle represented a step forward for him and one back for us. I realized, and I will use "I" because I can only speak from my insight, Atom is on his way to independence and college.

It is amazing how he can adapt to this new thing (and remember how to swallow and everything) but it emphasizes that fact that even though the first month of no sleep and worrying has been tough and at times seemingly static, he is in fact growing into a little person. I know he is a long way from going to his first dance or from his first buritto but life seems a little cruel in it's ever changing momentum and just as we are settling into having this oh so tiny human being, he is developing at a quick pace into something so much more than just bodily function after bodily function. I didn't know that time, in the present tense, is so precious and to be enjoyed. I have a tendency to always be looking forward as I tread lightly across the roses of today but I guess I need to make a better effort to see the world again since it has become an infiniltey better place with Atom in it.

A side note: We accidently thawed out two days of milk, we are told you should ease into the bottle once a week at first, so we feed him a bottle the next day too. That did not go down so easily and he seemed to throw somewhat of a not so silent protest for the third ounce. He would suckle and then cry, suckle and then cry. It was heart shattering, not only cause you want him to get nourishement but because you have no idea what's wrong. I figure the bottle and dad feeding is passable in a pinch at this point but it is not a solid replacement for my wife and what she brings to the table. The bonding that happens between the two of them when he is feeding is sublime.

Day 40: Ceiling Fans

The last few days have brought on lots of changes in Atom's sleep patterns. Well at least we think so. He seems to be closer to a "schedule" but it is hard to tell. When I asked him if he felt like he was getting a hang of this sleep thing he made a sort of a "coo" sounding noise. I am taking that as a "not really, but that ceiling fan above your head sure looks interesting" statement.

He is having his good days and some bad ones but I think we are getting better at working on acute amounts of sleep so it is a wash.

Atom's latest thing is exercising his vocal chords while he is awaiting for sleep to overcome him. All sorts of strange noises flow from him. Some of the noises are funny, some are scary, and others are just curious. I have a feeling he is going to be a talker. Of course the other possibility is he simply has something important to say.

One of the most frustrating things is not being able to effectively communicate with him.  However effectively communicating is a skill that very few people ever master so maybe I should just focus on not standing under ceiling fans.

Day 35 - On sleep

Sleep: perchance to dream: aye, there's the rub...The rub being in this case a lack of dreaming or REM sleep. I actually got 5 and a half hours sleep last night, not consecutive mind you, and what a difference it made. I was pepped and ready to take on the world for at least 20 minutes this morning. Watch out!

So the one thing people keep saying to you when you have an infant on the way is "SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP". Sleep whenever you can and when the baby comes sleep when he does.
 Sounds like a simple enough idea. So simple and obvious that it is almost insulting. I am not the baby here and I can figure out when I am tired and when I need rest. Been doing it for years and besides I don't need that much sleep anyway. I have been running off small amounts of sleep since college and have done nicely with this arrangement.

A baby, on the other hand, needs lots of sleep. Depending on what you are reading, a baby's need to sleep could reach upwards of 18 hours a day. So again this "sleep, sleep, sleep" thing sounds painfully easy to grapse. New parents get 18 hours to sleep too, right. Surely one can squeeze a nap in there somewhere. Well...I (and my wife) have not taken a single conventional nap yet. We have tried giving each other a "break" by letting each other sleep for one of the eating cycles (i'll get into those later) either early in the morning or late at night. It is like a little sleep appetizer that is enough to remind you how much you like sleep but not enough to satisfy any real hunger because the baby rarely ever sleeps more than 2-3 between feeds. It turns out once you add normal life activities to the baby routine, or lack there of, 18 hours of sleep becomes elusive.

I'm sure we will find the time to steal some sleep in the future or at least that is what people tell us. It is true that Atom has created such a drive in me to stay awake and to watch his every move but that doesn't stop me from occasionally daydreaming of days past where sleep was so abundant that I never felt the need to over indulge.