Day 173: Magnificent Milestone

Atom will be six months old on Sunday. Six months...hard to believe. Six months of breathing, blinking, burping, bubbling, babbling, bewilderment, and belief (the last three were my wife and I).
I thought in honor of this magnificent milestone I would summarize a few of the things we have learned so far. Don't worry this isn't like a sitcom where they need mid-season filler so they just paste old re-runs together. I hate that. And I hate that those episodes never die either. They should not be a part of the series syndication either. Oh man don't get me started! I talking about you Seinfeld!

I hope I can shine a new light or at least a brighter one now that my wife and I have mastered parenthood. After six months on the job we have obviously learned all there is to know.

Here's what we know (at least when it comes to Atom)…

• Your body can run on even less sleep than you know. You know that record you set way back in college during finals? You dug deep down inside and crammed for that Acting for Non-Theater Majors final? That all-nighter? Well kiss that record good-bye. Infants will take you to all new levels of exhaustion that don't seem possible but are infinitely worth it.
• Take everything that isn't nailed down at the hospital. Blankets, hats, vaseline, whatever you can get your hands on because it will come in handy later.
• The cheaper diapers work just as good/better than the expensive ones. Go cheap if you find one that works.
• You can never take too many pictures.
• All babies are "good" babies. When you are wearing baby goggles your own baby can do no wrong. Just remember not everyone owns goggles.
• Bodily Fluids Flow Freely. The will flow and flow and flow. Our washing machine has almost run non-stop since the beginning. Be prepared.
• If you have a boy, use a wash cloth to cover the privates during diaper changes. (see Bodily Fluid Flow Freely above)
• Babies "bounce" better than you do. Babies are tough and flexible. You are probably not. Comfortably position yourself BEFORE you hold the baby, feed the baby, or carry the baby.
• Take turns watching the baby. Everyone loves the baby and cherishes every moment with him but even Jesus needed a day to recoup.
• The unexpected is just that.
• Prepare to talk to everyone about your child. You will find yourself working him into the oddest conversations uncontrollably.

Person 1: "Pauly D grabs like 40 gallons of gel and is like WHAM!"
Person 2: "The show is like a social experiment."
ME: "Speaking of experiments you should have seen Atom's diaper this morning."

• Laughter. It is sometimes your only weapon against a tired baby.
• Singing anything to Atom can help navigate to a happy place. Even if you don't know the words. Just make them up. Babies don't know the difference.
• Swaddling isn't for everyone.

Above anything else…enjoy your baby. Enjoy the looks on other people's faces when they see him. Enjoy his bizarre noises that dismantle the din surrounding you. Enjoy the moment when he hates lying on his stomach. Enjoy the moment when he hates lying on his back. Enjoy the moment when he finds his hands, his feet, and his voice. Enjoy the wonderment in his eyes at trees, cars, and ceiling fans. Enjoy the feeling that overcomes you at seeing him, hearing him, and holding him. Enjoy your renewed belief in all that is right with the world…and enjoy it while it lasts because the teenage years are quickly approaching.