DAY 158: Shine a Light

One of the most powerful moments in my life so far has come seemingly out of one of the most mundane actions. A meaningless action that I have done millions of times before from coast to coast without ever really thinking much of it.

I am talking about walking in the door after a long day of work. In the past, my wife was the single bright light that guided me home. I only needed to spot her light dancing across the landscape of my mind and auto pilot engaged. No matter how cluttered my mind got with shadows of doubt or (in)decision from the day her light was a constant warm ray providing calm clarity.

I know what you are thinking and no her light has never been brighter. But this is a blog about Atom so...there is an additional light now that illuminates the crevasses and quagmires of my cranium: Atom's Light. A light that is so new, so fragile, and so powerful it can't be ignored.

I see this light most clearly on those occasions where I walk in the door Zombie-like and his gaze pierces the numbness brought on by the day. His eyes usually sparkle first and then white light bursts from his mouth in the form of laughter or a sly smile.  Suddenly the world around me fills with color. Everything outside our little trinity melts away into a brief oblivion and all is right. (My wife's light is there too and combines with Atom's to produce this brilliant aurora borealis like effect that envelops us all.)

It sounds like a melodramatic scene out of Fantasia (the only thing we are missing is Mickey in his wizard outfit) but it does happen. Poof! I am healed. The tourists walking slow in front of me in Times Square, the pedestrians positioning themselves in front of me at every intersection and the long long trek home seem small compared to this antidote(l) action. I guess it just goes to show you never know what amazing things may be revealed by simply opening a door.

I can't imagine what is going to happen when Atom eventually perfects his army crawl or drunken baby walk. All kids run to meet their parents when they walk in the door, right? Or I am again having Disney flashbacks? Don't worry if I see a dancing Whale in our front yard I will immediately seek medical attention (right after I take a moment to enjoy the show because we all know they dnever last long enough).

Day 52: What's in a smile?

He did it. He really did it. A smile. Well, it was a baby smile. All mis-shapen, crooked and beautiful. Atom has officially moved from random sleep smiles to what appears to be purposeful goodness.

You might say "But isn't he in the mimic stage? The stage where he might try to mimic your facial expressions." Yes, you are right, he is in the mimic stage. The stage where he enjoys doing more than just stare dead eyed at you until you feel the urge to give him all your money. I am not trying to minimize how cool this stage is but BAM! He entered the stage and kept going right into smiles. A feat few zombies walking around New York City seem to have mastered themselves.

I have to give my wife credit because she seems to bring the most out of Atom and of course he can't seem to smile enough around her. In fact, everyone smiles around her so I didn't put much into this new trick until he turned that gummy mug on me. Mona Lisa looks quite Munch-ish compared to him when he lets it loose. It is hard to describe the feeling when your child smiles at you for the first time. Your lungs expand with a sudden burst of oxygen, your heart squeezes an extra beat into your normal rhythm and time slows to a few frames a second in effort to capture the image into your memory. I feel lucky to have been the beneficiary of his smile and hope many more people feel that way over the course of his life.

Not only does he have a smile that could sell smog to an Angeleno but this means he is learning muscle control. He is making the connection between feelings and how to physically express them. He is making his first attempts at communication. He is looking at me and saying "You make me happy". Of course another explanation is he is looking at me sand saying "Do you smell that?"