Day 232: Collaboration sprinkled with anticipation

Atom actually helped his Mom during one of his feedings this week. Powerful synapse fired in his brain setting off multiple thought processes, muscle contractions and super human determination ending with a grand result...a wide open mouth at the appropriate time. Sublime.

Now you may be thinking "Big deal. I open and close my mouth everyday." This may not be a big deal to you Mr. Big Shot but for Atom it was monumental.

Even though Atom is becoming smarter everyday he doesn't always used his new found brilliance for good. In fact he seems to be channeling it into creative endeavors and in-animate object impressions. Even though we encourage him and want his imagination to blossom, there is a time and place for everything.

Say, we might think it is a good idea for him to get into his car seat so we can go somewhere, well, he has decided his car seat is the perfect stage to work on his impression of a stiff board. Say, we think it would be a good idea to change his dirty stinky diaper, well, he usually decides laying like a board on his stomach is much more interesting.  Say, we think his high chair would be a good spot to eat, well, again Atom has decided that his chair is the perfect spot for practicing aforementioned board impression. (I have to admit he really does do a good board. Make sure to check out his show next time your in town.)

Every day it is board here, board there, board upside down. So you can imagine our delight when, after a long performance of board sticking out of a high chair, he quietly ate with his mommy. Opening and closing his mouth without coaxing and at the appropriate times.

Maybe he was just giving us a false sense of security before his next performance of crying board sticking out of a stroller but for that brief moment it sure did feel like we might have tamed this strange creature that is Atom.

Day 152: Atom vs. The Speedboat

Lately Sharon and I have felt like we were sitting front row at a Gallagher Show. Only we haven't donned raincoats and the show is actually good. Atom has incorporated a new bit into his act. Not only does he seem to be able to blow endless bubbles in various sizes out of thin air but now he likes to impersonate a Speedboat.


No he has never seen a speedboat to the best of our knowledge but his impression is spot on. He even captures the subtle nuances of someone shifting gears and applying various levels of pressure to the throttle.


His performance usually starts off somewhat slow. He closes his lips tight and proceeds to make minor fart noises. If his audience appears to be into it (and we always are) he really lets loose. Lips vibrating, saliva sporadically spraying, and a steely stare embody his persona. It is truly a sight to be seen.


I think for me one of the best things about these impromptu jam sessions is Atom's underlying collaborative nature really shines through. No ego. No formality. No judgement.


In fact, he and I engaged in a 45 minute saliva sing-a-long without giving it a second thought over the weekend. He started with a steady bass line "Thurrrrp, Thurrrrp, Thurrrp" and I quickly jumped in with some hellacious harmonic lines of "Thruuub, Thruuuub, Thruub". We lost ourselves to the moment and didn't re-surface until my lips were numb and a drool pool had formed at my feet.


For me...the recital was epic and even though afterwards Atom instantly moved on to a staring contest with the ceiling fan above my head, I think for a brief moment we both knew something sublime had just been created.


I felt like a young jazz musician in New York after WWII who just happened to wander into Minton's Playhouse. If only Dizzy had a chance to jam with Atom...Jazz may have become the next sliced bread.

Day 73: What's in a smile? #2

Atom has been working hard this week. He has added not one but two smiles now to his repertoire. He has sort of a slanted right side of the mouth smirky thing that he does when he is not fully committed to the smile. He does it seemingly more to let you know he appreciates your effort. The goofy sounds coming out of your mouth and the crazy eyes you made didn't go unnoticed. He got it . Now move on.

His other smile is pure unabashed joy. A stop you in your tracks and take your breath away smile. It's a huge toothless mouth smile that is obscenely wide. Maniacal almost in nature except it couldn't be any more innocent. There is something magical in watching the discovery of happiness and joy manifested by genuine expression. It is an inclusionary smile that bubbles under your own skin as it commandeers your facial muscles and explodes out in a reactionary smile. I find myself not even aware I am smiling and smiling so wide my jaw usually hurts afterward.

The most sublime moment might just be a smile dancing across Atom's face. The fact that he hasn't quite enlisted the rest of his face into the act doesn't matter in the least. A smile so pure and raw that hasn't been worn down by self consciousness is truly a powerful thing. I'm not sure I could take a full face smile at this point.

Day 57: Baby Stretches

I am noticing an alarming correlation between Atom's full body, face crunched, contorted into an incredibly awkward position stretches and my own almost full body, leathery, bent into a dangerously awkward position stretches. Obviously his are more improvisational and jellylike in nature while I look more like a 80 year old gymnast making an attempt to reclaim past glory but in the rawest form I see a resemblance.

This correlation is obviously disturbing for many reasons. Who invented this stretch? Was he born with it? IS that the only trait of mine he has acquired? Did I start out that way, so flexible and free, when I was a baby and now many broken down years later lucky to be able to touch my toes on regular basis? Food for thought.

The other side is just as alarming. The other side being me of course. Am I mimicking him now? AM I regressing back to childlike behavior? Is there something in him that I am trying to emulate? Drink for thought at the very least.

You may think none of this is problematic or that I am being hyper sensitive but that's what new parents do. Isn't it? We stare at our new child for hours on end and analyze everything about him. Even if he is just laying on his playmat like a wet noodle we strive to find that meaning, or connection between him and our selves. I used to spend a tremendous amount of time stalking the Pacific Ocean. I couldn't get enough of it. I could spend an entire day staring into the giant body of water and loose myself in myself. I would re-route my daily travels as much as possible to maybe get the chance to sneak a peek at it. I'm surprised no restraining orders were ever issued. Now I find myself staring the same way Atom. The sublime rushes in and over takes my senses. I can stare at him for hours on end sometimes deep in thought and others seemingly floating between levels of conscientiousness. The truly amazing thing is for all of those hours of staring at the Pacific Ocean I don't think I ever saw myself in it and now now I do in Atom. I hope he has some of my other stellar attributes in addition to my stretch but even if he doesn't the connection has been made. And for that I am amazed.