Day 365: 1 Year

One year has passed. I can't believe it. His party was Sunday and today, it's quiet time to reflect I guess.

The past year has been the single most amazing journey I have ever been on. I have never been closer to life. Closer to the essence. I would imagine I was close when I went through my first year too but it takes a little distance to see the details sometimes. Observing Atom's launch truly gave me a perspective, I now understand, I had always lacked.

Each second, minute, hour, day, week, and month revealed magic. Never has a single breath carried such weight. Meeting my wife took my breath away, sure, but Atom brought it back. Does everyone feel this way? Did my parents? Are we now part of a larger club of people, let's call them Parents, that has witnessed life in all of it's power and glory and walked away with profound wisdom?

Hmmm. Profound wisdom is a hard hill to climb. Maybe I am getting a little ahead of myself. Profound wisdom probably arrives after the second year or third year. Although there was the one week after college graduation when I was positive I was shuck full of Wisdom…I guess for now I will be happy just knowing that indeed there is beautiful innocence kicking around in the world wrapped up in tiny little baby bundles.

In true year in review fashion I will now proceed with some of Atom's highlights for the year…

Birth
the first night being beyond exhaustion but to excited to sleep or let him out of our sight
how he had no eye brows, wrinkles, and that thing under your nose when he was born
going through 8-10 diapers a day
his first cry (wah, wah, wah)
no knowing how to adjust the straps on the car seat at the hospital so having to change his outfit so we could actually bring him home
operating on no sleep for the first three months
First smile
First laugh
First hug
first time his eyes followed me across the room
watching him watch Sharon
seeing his face explode with joy every time Sharon walks into the room
tummy time
his face eating his first food
his little teeth
making fart noises back and forth with him
holding him tight and signing john lennon's beautiful boy at 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 in the morning
his first crawl
two fingers in his mouth
the first time he "got" something and watching it bubble over his face
wondering if he has memorized every episode Law and Order
seeing him pull himself up
the way he points at everything
seeing him play with peanut
watching our families welcome him
realizing he understands his name for the first time
wondering if he thinks his name is actually Baby Atom
seeing his tiny hand doing the sign for milk even though he cant verbalize it
baby bejourning
sharing him with other people


and finally...watching the people my wife and I are becoming. It's hard to not want to be a better person around him. He deserves it and so do we. I guess we just never realized it until now.

Day 295: Thanksgiving Monkey Business

Day 165: Duuuun Dun, Duuun dun, DuunDun

We have been pleasantly surprised time and time again by seemingly the most mundane occurrences. The shear act of Atom bringing his hands together to grab a toy in front of his face elicits a rapture of riotous approval. Amazement washes over us every time he recognizes one of us and purposely rolls over (like a drunken Otter) towards us. Even watching Atom wake up in the morning is a stupendous sight to be seen. But the thing that happened this week is more monumental than all the rest. He had a First. His First Tooth is tunneling towards the surface!

I can admit now, looking back, that the idea of First is new to me. Even armed with an English degree and an extreme comfort level digesting dialog I now know I never understood this simple concept. And when I say "concept" I mean just that. Of course I understood the base level meaning of First (being before all others with respect to time, order, rank, importance, etc.) but I guess all those Gertrude Stein classes never really stuck because I realize I have taken the meaning for granted.

First is so much more than just coming before others in something, it is also and more importantly the BEGINNING of something. I must have known this at some point but years of sports/society teaching me that being First always came at the expense/lack of achievement of others buried it deep down in the dark regions of my memory (probably under my 6 years of Spanish and the location of that cool Scally Cap I briefly owned).

In this case Atom is not the First person to have a tooth. He is not the first baby to have a tooth either. He's not even the smallest being in our household with a tooth (it is a toss up between Peanut and possibly whatever bit Sharon when she was sleeping two days ago). But Atom's tooth represents the BEGINNING of something special that is happening.

The BEGINNING of eating solid food. The BEGINNING of self defense. The BEGINNING of proper diction. The BEGINNING of a classic smile. The BEGINNING of crème de la crème whistling. The BEGINNING of tooth aches and potential orthodontia. The BEGINNING of his.... independence. (Sigh)