Day 365: 1 Year

One year has passed. I can't believe it. His party was Sunday and today, it's quiet time to reflect I guess.

The past year has been the single most amazing journey I have ever been on. I have never been closer to life. Closer to the essence. I would imagine I was close when I went through my first year too but it takes a little distance to see the details sometimes. Observing Atom's launch truly gave me a perspective, I now understand, I had always lacked.

Each second, minute, hour, day, week, and month revealed magic. Never has a single breath carried such weight. Meeting my wife took my breath away, sure, but Atom brought it back. Does everyone feel this way? Did my parents? Are we now part of a larger club of people, let's call them Parents, that has witnessed life in all of it's power and glory and walked away with profound wisdom?

Hmmm. Profound wisdom is a hard hill to climb. Maybe I am getting a little ahead of myself. Profound wisdom probably arrives after the second year or third year. Although there was the one week after college graduation when I was positive I was shuck full of Wisdom…I guess for now I will be happy just knowing that indeed there is beautiful innocence kicking around in the world wrapped up in tiny little baby bundles.

In true year in review fashion I will now proceed with some of Atom's highlights for the year…

Birth
the first night being beyond exhaustion but to excited to sleep or let him out of our sight
how he had no eye brows, wrinkles, and that thing under your nose when he was born
going through 8-10 diapers a day
his first cry (wah, wah, wah)
no knowing how to adjust the straps on the car seat at the hospital so having to change his outfit so we could actually bring him home
operating on no sleep for the first three months
First smile
First laugh
First hug
first time his eyes followed me across the room
watching him watch Sharon
seeing his face explode with joy every time Sharon walks into the room
tummy time
his face eating his first food
his little teeth
making fart noises back and forth with him
holding him tight and signing john lennon's beautiful boy at 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 in the morning
his first crawl
two fingers in his mouth
the first time he "got" something and watching it bubble over his face
wondering if he has memorized every episode Law and Order
seeing him pull himself up
the way he points at everything
seeing him play with peanut
watching our families welcome him
realizing he understands his name for the first time
wondering if he thinks his name is actually Baby Atom
seeing his tiny hand doing the sign for milk even though he cant verbalize it
baby bejourning
sharing him with other people


and finally...watching the people my wife and I are becoming. It's hard to not want to be a better person around him. He deserves it and so do we. I guess we just never realized it until now.

Day 152: Atom vs. The Speedboat

Lately Sharon and I have felt like we were sitting front row at a Gallagher Show. Only we haven't donned raincoats and the show is actually good. Atom has incorporated a new bit into his act. Not only does he seem to be able to blow endless bubbles in various sizes out of thin air but now he likes to impersonate a Speedboat.


No he has never seen a speedboat to the best of our knowledge but his impression is spot on. He even captures the subtle nuances of someone shifting gears and applying various levels of pressure to the throttle.


His performance usually starts off somewhat slow. He closes his lips tight and proceeds to make minor fart noises. If his audience appears to be into it (and we always are) he really lets loose. Lips vibrating, saliva sporadically spraying, and a steely stare embody his persona. It is truly a sight to be seen.


I think for me one of the best things about these impromptu jam sessions is Atom's underlying collaborative nature really shines through. No ego. No formality. No judgement.


In fact, he and I engaged in a 45 minute saliva sing-a-long without giving it a second thought over the weekend. He started with a steady bass line "Thurrrrp, Thurrrrp, Thurrrp" and I quickly jumped in with some hellacious harmonic lines of "Thruuub, Thruuuub, Thruub". We lost ourselves to the moment and didn't re-surface until my lips were numb and a drool pool had formed at my feet.


For me...the recital was epic and even though afterwards Atom instantly moved on to a staring contest with the ceiling fan above my head, I think for a brief moment we both knew something sublime had just been created.


I felt like a young jazz musician in New York after WWII who just happened to wander into Minton's Playhouse. If only Dizzy had a chance to jam with Atom...Jazz may have become the next sliced bread.